hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
