New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
