butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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