So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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