I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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