dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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