This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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