Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
