I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
