i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want nice things and good sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
