i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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