In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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