Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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