i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
