Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
