What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
