So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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