Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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