I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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