You just made me feel so damn special
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No more Irish car bombs ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
