thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
