if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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