Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think people are normalizing furries
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
