I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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