At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
