How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My balls are so social today.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
