i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
