He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
