It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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