At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
