am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
