yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
