Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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