That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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