Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
