How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
