Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
A bitchslap is in order.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
