hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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