Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
