I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
