So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
