I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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