So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
