i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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