somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
