you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
