porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
...so i touched it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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