if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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