Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
