he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
