just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
