Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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